Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
