Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
