Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize