fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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