no, he came in my armpit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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