My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
