Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
