Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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