Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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