now i know why i became what i already was.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
