just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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