You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
