I want to walk on stilts...naked
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
