Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize