i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
