mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A+ Viking dick
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
