Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
