a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
