don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
