Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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