He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
