I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
