these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
