when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
