I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
