So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
