No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
