All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
