I didn't shave. On purpose
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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