I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
