I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
