Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
