Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Mom said you looked used
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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