I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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