vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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