Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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