Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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