Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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