I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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