chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm like, not good at living.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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