The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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