Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize