WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
