NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize