How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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