wrigley field is MILF paradise
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
