well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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