Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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