from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
