Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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