so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
