WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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