This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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