:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
