I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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