I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
