PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
