how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
