You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
