He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
