my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
