We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize