Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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