We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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