Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
